I feel like it has been so long since I have posted on this blog! It has been on my mind though, almost daily.
I have been struggling with what to post and share on here lately. To be honest, I have written up probably three or four blog posts, but just wasn’t feeling them, so they were quickly deleted. I’m sure some of this indecisiveness stems from stress, as our family is entering into new territory for this summer, financially, and we will be missing quite a large chunk of money that we usually have. It will be a bit of a challenge settling into a no spending phase just at the start of summer. It is a little disheartening, but we will be okay.
Aside from that, my mind has just been eratic in terms of just feeling a bit cluttered and void. I’m positively sure that makes no sense, but I don’t know how else to describe it. I have been wanting to start something new and fresh, something that is creative. I have really been missing having a creative outlet that actually feels fulfilling to complete. But, I woke up this morning and decided that I really need to allow myself to write again- not just journaling, but creatively as well.
I have always been a writer for as long as I can remember. I was taking college courses in creative writing when I was in sixth grade! So writing has always been a part of me. I started out mainly writing short stories, but gradually shifted away from that. This left me a bit confused on what format of writing best suites me, which to be honest, is probably a big part of why I gradually stepped away from it. I have decided to dip my toes back into the waters of writing again, no pressure though. No expectations, just writing.
I do think that I may try to form my thoughts into poems, until I decide they don’t fit. I remember one day several years ago, I was putting away clean towels when a revelation popped into my head. It was so clear and astounding (as it had never occured to me) to discover this about myself… that I am a poet. It was a truth about myself that I never took into consideration, and it was a truth about myself that made me smile. I don’t honor that part of me in a way that I should. So, for this summer, the summer of no spending, I will try to be spending my time enjoying my family and getting back into touch with my writing, and hopefully find a place where I feel that what I have to say fits perfectly.
Instead of starting a new blog, I will still be using this one. My journaling posts will continue, as I do love getting my thoughts out and purging what persistently dances through my mind. However, there will be extra added posts that will be my creative writings, which will be labeled as such. Hopefully this will lead me to something I will be pleased with!